Oxbridge Institute
Department of History
Professor Baxter Smalls, Time Traveling Documentarian
Baxter Smalls
The life, which I call my own, is a comparatively minor tome in the great library that is linear time. Where would I possibly begin? Father dearest, Wendell “Tally Ho” Smalls, took an early liking to the cullinary offenses of post-revolutionary France. At the age of 20 he had already abetted its spread into the less fortunate corners of Hackney and Dagenham yet had his sights set higher still. His rabid service to this French culinary inquisition left him far too occupied to notice the sudden addition of another child, or as I often felt, merely an incubator for french avian disentary. For her part, Mother dearest, was always kind me and my siblings and often as not shielded us from Father’s most wrathful moments.
Were I to be impertinent, I would be unceremoniously dropped in the middle of Father’s wild canine pens and given 30 seconds - the usual sort of thing. It certainly prepared me for the outrageous adventures through time I would have in the following years.
I worked concessions at the London Philharmonic as a young boy and then in my later teens moved to Hungary where I traveled with a group of ceramic bowl makers. That is where I met a genius animal manipulator named Tagen Purdey who took me under his wing… so to speak and I traveled Europe peddling ceramics and entertaining hordes of tourists with cheap alcohol and ridiculous tricks using different species of fowl. It was here after a chance purchase of a disused 16mm Aaton Motion Picture Camera from a donkey-cart merchant, that I began to film the people of our travels and was fascinated by their similarities....
It was ‘round this time that I first received “the gift.” I cannot speak of the details of my gift, lest I risk forever losing it, much as the great heroes of mythology might become powerless once they revealed their secrets, or nether regions.
I studied under Sir Perry Worthington during my formidable years at Oxbridge College of hereditary science. Genealogical work was mundane, but as I began to understand genetics I soon realized that we are just clones of our ancestral past. I pondered my own future and at that moment, realized I must use my gift to go back to the past and make a documentary to see where my future will lead. Also it seemed to be a good way of paying for my one bedroom flat in east London.
This quest is what led me to find the finest cinematographer I could acquire. I wanted someone who would compliment my genius and still maintain an artistic edge. I wanted someone who could capture light & form with un-enhanced perfection, unhindered by the manipulation of color timers and their ilk. I was about to embark on the most important scientific journey of the 20th century and I needed a stallion not a pinto to ride into the past on… My search lead me to the seediest sides of east London where I found an exhibit… of sorts…being put on by a fellow named “Lolli Gamble”. Describing him as rough around the edges is a bit of a understatement. He is the true definition of raw. His images were captivating and real he was without a doubt the ebony to my ivory.
To this day, I spend my “time” documenting and photographing the human condition and writing my time travel logs. That and avoiding paternity suits from literally hundreds of Lolli’s progeny, some of which seek reparations back to the time of the Mayans.
-- Baxter Smalls
NOW AVAILABLE!
Wendell “Tally Ho” Smalls
Tagen Purdey “Bird Trainer and Kite Pilot”
Me as a boy, “A real looker … Good Lord! ”
I was Captain of the Oxbridge Munitions Club
Sir Perry Worthington and “The Gift”
Lolli Gamble “Cinematography”